Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Sarah Mac Band Travel Minivan Tour 50 (fi’ty) with multi-stop service to face-melting rock shows all over creation. Please turn your attention to the van attendant nearest you for our safety demonstration. Please follow along with the safety card located in the seat pocket in front of you.
As Captain Charlie is often a reckless driver, please make sure your seatbelt is securely fastened at this time. To fasten, insert the loose metal buckle into the holder. Tighten so it fits firmly around your waist. To fasten, pull the loose belt. Also, make sure all carry-on items are stored in the overhead bins, or under the seat in front of you.
There are 5 emergency exits on this 200 Honda Odyssey minivan; 2 in the front, 1 in the back, and 1 sliding door located on each side. Each exit is equipped with a safety slide that can be detached and used as a flotation device. Please take this time to locate your nearest exit. Keep in mind that it may be behind you. If cabin visibility is reduced, lighted strips along the floor of the cabin will lead you to the nearest exit. Remember, red lights mark and exit. Also please remember that upon your exit to grab at least one piece of equipment and take it with you to reduce the recoup cost later.
In case there is a loss in cabin pressure (or too many beans for lunch), yellow oxygen masks will deploy from the ceiling compartment located above you. To secure, pull the mask towards you, secure the elastic strap to your head, and fasten it so it covers your mouth and nose. Breath normally. Even if the bag does not inflate, please keep in mind that oxygen is flowing. Please make sure to secure your own mask before assisting others.
In case of a water landing, first please secure all amplifiers and guitars with provided tarps, using duct tape to close the seals. Then, quickly put on the life jackets located under your seat. To fasten, place the vest over your head and secure both straps around your waste. To inflate, pull the red handle, or manually inflate by blowing into the red tube. Remember, NEVER inflate the vest inside of the minivan. Also, a beacon light will activate upon entering water.
Please make sure you have read the safety card and itinerary for this tour. As we come through the cabin to perform our final safety checks, please make sure your seatbelt is fastened, you seat back and tray tables are in their full upright and lock position, and all carry on items are stored properly.
Thank you for your attention, and we wish you a good journey with Sarah Mac Band Travel Minivan Tours.
And in other news, you can listen to the new Indigo Girls album here before it’s released on October 4th. Seriously, this might be my new favorite IG album. Not kidding. Pre-order it. Go ahead and make plans to see the tour that will support this album. It’s THAT good, folks!